A QUICK GUIDE ON HOW TO APPROACH SHARED CARE ARRANGEMENT
A quick but comprehensive guide on what to consider before you sit down with the other parent and discuss shared care arrangement.
Before you start a conversation with the other parent on sharing the care of the child, you’ll need to talk to them in a way that you will both understand that you need to come into an agreement. You need to consider all the details and agree on them if you want to apply to the Family Court to make your parenting plan into a court order.
That means if you and the other parent can’t make an agreed schedule, then your lawyers will. And they will CHARGE you for that.... BOTH OF YOU.
And as I mentioned, the Court will determine the level of care each parent has with the child, but IRD will determine the amount of child support is to be paid, so that the child will have the same financial support as if both parents were still living together.
By now, you figured that I don't hold my knowledge back, so I prepared this little LIST to guide you to organize the arrangement that follows IRD's protocol. Also, I composed another guide with the 3 most frequent care arrangements I came across for the time while I was working for IRD - make sure you check it out once you finish reading this post by clicking right here.
Things to consider when planning a shared care arrangement:
1. Frequency - Weekly, Fortnightly, Monthly or Yearly.
2. Nights of care during school term
3. Nights of care during school holidays
4. Nights of care during Christmas holidays
5. Establish the care over public holidays
6. How will you arrange special occasions? – Birthdays, Mother’s day, Father’s day etc.
7. Pick up and drop off times – this is important for child support and Working for Families purposes, so the time is hugely relevant.
8. Think about the possibility of the child attending a Boarding school at some stage.
9. Where is the changeover taking place? In the mall, friend’s house, your house, public place?
10. What is the backup plan for emergencies? – What if you are late, or there is an emergency, or school finishes early etc.
11. When will the child spend time with his family? Uncles, Cousins, Aunties, Grandparents?
12. What is the procedure of making updates to the arrangement and how will parents communicate between each other.
While this list is purely a rough guideline, I created a 15-step guide with easy-to-follow steps to create a co-parenting plan that will meet your child's needs and routines, will keep the emotions at bay, and will maintain a cooperative communication with the other parent.
....Imagine being able to sit down with the other parent and be able to come up to resolutions while respecting each others boundaries....Sounds good, right?
Now, lets be real and prepare for the worst, and hope for the best.
Changeovers can sometimes stir up a mix of emotions, making them a delicate aspect of co-parenting. Taking a thoughtful approach to who participates in these transitions, from drop-offs to pickups, can help you into a smoother experience for everyone involved. It's important to reach mutual agreement on these arrangements with the other parent, creating a supportive environment for your child.
Working together to choose the right changeover location, especially if your child travels between different cities due to family arrangements, can make a world of difference. Planning ahead, including how transport costs will be shared, adds a layer of practicality to the process. And don't forget the value of a checklist! It helps ensure your child has everything they need, whether it's school essentials or beloved toys, as they move between homes.
Remember, while the list above outlines the information needed from IRD to update your accounts, the other considerations are all about keeping your peace of mind and prioritizing your child's well-being. These considerations will also show that you are committed to cooperate for the best outcomes for your child.
Below is the link that will take you to the helpful form IR120. You can use it as a guide and you can use the handy calendar for the current and next year, school holidays and public holidays are marked as well, so it is easy for both of you.
If that is overwhelming for you or it is getting too complicated and you feel lost, you know how to find me!
Book a free 30 minutes discovery call with me TODAY, and we can look into your assessment and create an action plan!
